I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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