She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Im part way to drunk.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
