I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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