i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
