Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
