My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
