how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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