Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
