She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
