i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize