Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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