Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize