sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
