Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
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