Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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