New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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