holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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