we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
