Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
