I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
This is my gift to your gina
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
