was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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