i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
