from now on my penis is your penis
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
