if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
