I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
