How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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