I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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