It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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