I only kidnapped one of them. chill
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
