Umm I'm too high to move.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
