she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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