i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Randomize
