Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
