Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
