Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have feelings that need drinking.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize