i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
