You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
