i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
