fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So vagazzling was a success
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
