WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
