Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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