Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
