these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
