And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
