I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
