Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
