I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My feet surprised me
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