I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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