A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
