ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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