no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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