It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
