I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Found the puke drawer
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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