I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
