I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think your dad took our porno
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
