I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
