that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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