What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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