I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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