I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize