Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
