I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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