she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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