you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize