kristin has been a bad kristin
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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